Can Guys Be Too Nice?

The new site update is up! Is this guy just too nice for me to stomach? While our group was roaming around the city, the two of us walked a few paces behind the rest, absorbed in our conversation. I found him to be cute and smart, if maybe too nice and self-effacing. But I was hoping he would ask me out. Strangely, when he did I didn’t feel the excitement I was expecting. The night we met I left abruptly around 2am when a free cab finally rolled by us, so our goodbye was awkward and rushed. The next morning I got a message from him on facebook asking if I’d like to hang out with him on one one and “continue our conversation. Usually, I’m thrilled when a guy I see any glimmer of potential with asks me out, but for some reason I felt a bit apathetic after seeing his message.

36 Thoughts You Have When You’re Too Nice To Reject Someone

I just finished dating a nice guy. I found one! Surprisingly, it was a disaster. After a string of horrible relationships, I finally wanted to date someone who was just… nice. You know? Like, literally that was it.

I’m 34 and have had a long dry spell in dating and reading your blog and starting That’s why women say they want a nice guy with edge, and conversely, men.

I’m 26, single and, save for an amazingly brief relationship when I was 19, have been single all of my life. I seem to have no trouble making friends, male or female, and I am known to be a very personable, intelligent person. But somehow these qualities don’t seem to translate in the dating world. I’ve had plenty of male friends say “the guy who gets you is really lucky.

So evidence suggests I’m a good person, but am I just not attractive enough to date? I have the opposite problem. People tend to assume I want to do them, including my therapist once, which led to my most awkward couch conversation ever. Let’s get one thing straight. You are totally, absolutely dateable. I know this.


In the past three years, I have heard the following sentence from very well-meaning people more times than I can remember:. But I digress—the problem is the misguided idea that we can be too nice, and the equally-misguided idea that being too nice if it were even possible is a bad thing. Hopefully this blog post will put both of those pesky issues to bed once and for all.

You’re saying to the Universe, “I’m too busy for someone awesome, I ended things 3 days ago after a perfecly nice date where we’d had great sex and talked​.

I like to meet new people, go on dates and see where things go. With that being said, over the years, I have met a fair amount of guys who turned out to be the so-called textbook Nice Guys and as far as I remember, I have rejected them all. Before you get me all wrong, I would like to clarify and emphasize that I did not turn them down for being nice. Personally, I can be sure that I want a great guy who shares all the fundamental values with me including being nice and kind to each other.

I do look for meaningful connections. However, I turned the textbook nice guys down for a variety of reasons surprisingly that have nothing to do with them being nice but somehow have made the nice quality a turn-off. From the beginning of the dating process, these guys almost always leave the planning to me — what to do, where to go, what to eat and the list goes on and on. It gets boring and exhausting really quickly for me.

Or you know, he actually has a life. These guys almost always agree with everything I say and do.

How To Stop Being The Nice Guy With These 7 Tips!

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Most of us have been taught the importance of being nice to others, but being too When we lie to someone to avoid hurting him or her, in many in an unhealthy relationship way past its expiration date because you feel.

Asking shows you are aware that your disposition might be getting in the way of love. Let me give you an example from one of my clients who was too nice to get a boyfriend. The men she attracts seem into her at first. They text, email, message on social media or even sometimes call. They ask her out on dates, but then they start cancelling or standing her up completely. Still, they stay in touch from time to time and ask her out and she hangs in there hoping things will work out.

However, they usually never go on a date again or a lot of time goes by between dates. Who can blame her? Why do men always treat her this way? The trouble starts early on when a man first shows signs of not being respectful. Anna is a forgiving and understanding person, so she tends to overlook questionable behavior.

You May Be Turned Off By Guys Who Are “Too Nice” Because Your Triggers Need Drama

That is until I met my current boyfriend. I was addicted to the games. I thought passion came in the form of fighting and tears.

Better is a bit too much like nice which is a bit too much like pleasant which Girl About Town wrote about her date with pleasant Christian guy.

He outlines the three attachment styles as anxious, avoidant or secure. Anxious: craves intimacy, often preoccupied with relationships and longs to get closer with their partner. Avoidant: equates intimacy with loss of independence, distancing self, the idea that something better is around the corner. For example, if you have an avoidant attachment style, someone who is secure may turn you off. You associate a calm attachment system with boredom and indifference, and because of this fallacy you may let the perfect person pass you by.

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3 surprising reasons being ‘too nice’ is bad for your relationship

He has no confidence. He lets people walk all over him because he thinks being nice means letting everyone else get their way. What girl is attracted to that? But attraction is a lot more complicated than that, and of course, not always logical.

I am not an advocate for dating any man just because he’s nice to you. of someone “too nice” or “too considerate” completely turns you off or.

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Are Christian guys just too nice?

While there are some people who see the value and benefit that comes from conflict, virtually nobody actually likes it. However, the problem that results is the imbalance you create by not doing your part to share in the responsibility of making choices in the relationship. Over time, any system with an imbalance like that is going to have problems.

What happens then? Everyone yes, even you! Bringing those ideas into a relationship is an important part of keeping it fun, exciting, and fresh.

In dating, it means not getting too attached too quickly. Don’t give someone everything they want, all at once, and expect nothing in return. Every relationship is a.

Economists would point anyone thinking that way to the sunk cost fallacy. To suss out those findings, researchers surveyed people who were thinking about breaking up with a partner, then followed up after two months to see what they did. They found that participants who believed their partners really wanted the relationship to work were less likely to initiate a break up. In other words, seeing their partner as more dependent on the relationship correlated with being less willing to end it.

Again, this may sound all-too familiar. But the study authors note that previous research has focused on self-interested reasons for ending a relationship. In fact, it might actually be met with relief. We touch.

Proof You’re Being Too Nice In Your Relationship

But then. Then the person gets too keen. Perhaps they suggest hanging out two nights in a row, reply to all your messages straight away or even – gasp! The horror. And of course, you then recoil, suddenly, inexplicably, totally not into them any more. If you often get turned off when someone is too into you, it probably comes down to your issues with intimacy.

My boyfriend is too nice, and I can’t stand it. It may be emotionally exhausting to be with someone who leaves all of the decisions up to you.

A nice guy is an informal term for an often young adult male who portrays himself with characteristics such as being agreeable , gentle , compassionate , sensitive and vulnerable. When used negatively, a nice guy implies a male who is unassertive or otherwise non-masculine. It is also often used particularly in the context of dating [1] to describe someone who pretends to possess “nice guy” characteristics and uses acts of friendship and basic social etiquette with the unstated aim of progressing to a romantic or sexual relationship.

The results of the research on romantic perception of “nice guys” are mixed and often inconsistent. Studies that explicitly use the term “nice guy” sometimes cite research that does not directly use the term, but which addresses behaviours which are often associated with disingenuous “niceness”. One difficulty in studying the “nice guy” phenomenon is due to the ambiguity of the “nice guy” construct.

Participants in studies interpret “nice guy” to mean different things. In their qualitative analysis, Herold and Milhausen [6] found that women associate different qualities with the “nice guy” label: “Some women offered flattering interpretations of the ‘nice guy’, characterizing him as committed, caring, and respectful of women. Some women, however, emphasized more negative aspects, considering the ‘nice guy’ to be boring, lacking confidence, and unattractive. Nice guys are sometimes suggested to be overbearing or lacking in vision and ambitions; these opinions suggest self-confidence as a key point and area of improvement.

Signs You’re Too Nice For Online Dating